Expectation: an added weight or a motivator?

              To begin today’s post, I will once again turn to Jedidiah Jenkins. Last night in Portomarin, I was reading more of his book and came across a passage that stuck out to me: “I felt the duty of the promise I made myself and the expectations of all my friends watching.” This reminded me of an earlier discussion we had about expectations for the Camino. I kept this passage in mind as I was walking from Protomarin to Palas de Rei and focused on the idea of expectation, both from oneself and from others.
              The first person I thought of was an Australian woman that I met yesterday, Kay, who told me she decided to do the Camino because she wanted to challenge herself and show her kids that their mom could do something. I thought that was a really nice sentiment and it reminded me that people with kids who do the Camino probably have a different experience because they know someone is looking up to them. Now that I was thinking about expectation, I wondered if Kay felt like the expectations of her children were an added weight or a source of motivation. Perhaps it was both.
              I also thought about medieval pilgrims who walked the Camino. Some of them went to seek healing for a loved and others were sent by someone else who was seeking spiritual or religious pardons. I thought about how these pilgrims probably felt the weight of expectation from the people that needed healing or wanted the pardons. Since they truly believed that visiting shrines such as the shrine of St. James would bring healing, then it seems like knowing that the sick one was expecting the pilgrimage to bring healing would serve as motivation to complete the pilgrimage.
              As I continued thinking about the question of expectation, I struck up conversation with Pepe, a 16-year-old from Granada. I asked him what his family thought about him walking the Camino and he said that his mom was really proud of him because the Camino was good for the spirit. This seemed like his mother was expecting him to have some kind of spiritual or internal journey while he was on the path. I wondered if Pepe would feel like he let his mom down if he doesn’t feel changed by the Camino, or if his mother’s pride was a comfort to him.
              After thinking about Kay, Pepe, and the medieval pilgrims, I then thought about my own expectations and the expectations of the people who knew I was doing the Camino. Before today, I hadn’t really given any thought to the expectations of others. I knew my parents were proud of me and excited that I was doing the Camino. I also knew my friends were expecting me to come back with all kinds of cool stories and pictures. But I started to think, what if my stories don’t live up to what they think I’ve been doing? However, I decided that the Camino wasn’t really about the expectations of others. It is a personal journey and knowing that others are expecting you to have a great journey should be an added motivation and inspiration. I feel that at this point in my life, I connect more with the first part of the Jenkins passage; I was focused on the challenge of the Camino and showing myself that I can do it. I think that expectation should never be an added weight but should always be a motivator. Ultimately, your own expectations come before the expectations of others.
              To conclude this post, I’ll leave a little food for thought that the group has touched on a little bit: Maybe it is better to have no expectations at all…

My progress so far!